Friends to dating transition

19-Oct-2015 16:19 by aza547 8 Comments

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Often, when a woman pulls the LBF, it’s because she feels some sort of chemistry with the guy, but not physical/sexual chemistry. She wants to feel the mojo because he’s a great guy. She may be hoping to let the guy down easy; but more often she, at that moment, really believes that she could be friends with him. After all, significant feelings haven’t really developed yet.

I’ve had male friends where things started out with potential interest on one or both of our parts, but never developed beyond that.However, using the LBF ruse during rejection is usually a bad idea. In most cases, people who LBF don’t really want to be friends. People become friends for the same reason they get into relationships – that person fulfills a need.They want to let the other person down easy by showing them that they really do like them. Even though you could imagine being friends with this person you just went out with, you probably don’t need that person as a friend.Since more often than not it’s women who employ the LBF, I will stick with that in my examples. And you can’t base a friendship on guilt or trying to make someone feel less rejected. If one person wants more than friendship, it’s not friendship, even if there’s nothing physical happening. While it’s damned tricky to downshift into friendship after dating someone, it’s far less tricky to do so with someone you’ve only had a date or two with.But if rejecting others was so easy, there would be far fewer disappearing acts, fade-aways, dumb excuses, proclamations of “it’s not you, it’s me,” and other absurd ways people try to let others down easy.Unfortunately, in many cases, letting someone down easy makes the rejection far worse.

And then there’s the LBF or “Let’s Be Friends.” When two people get along but don’t feel that physical attraction, friendship is an option.

And in dating, sometimes you will meet people with whom you could actually envision being friends.

Some time ago, during the Intellectual Badass Dating campaign, we got into a discussion about rejection.

Rejection is a part of dating that EVERYONE dreads.

Obviously, being rejected isn’t an especially joyous experience.

But rejecting others isn’t so fun either, and people often forget this fact.

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